Why I’m Thankful to be an End-of-Life Care Veterinarian

Written by Dr. Mindy Brewster, Caring Pathways Colorado Veterinarian

“You Have the Worst Job in the World”

This statement still catches me off guard because of how much space there is between the sentiment and how I actually feel about my work as a hospice veterinarian. The truth is that doing this sacred work has given me the opportunity to appreciate the ineffable human-animal bond even more than before, create a strong emotional relationship with myself, and experience deep and meaningful connections with others on a whole new level.

Though I’ve honed my response to the many iterations of the above statement over the years, in this article I attempt to explain what I don’t have time to convey to clients during an appointment. Below are the five main reasons I love my work as a hospice vet and what it has come to mean to me personally.

Authentic Connection

Humans are social creatures and it’s in our nature to build relationships. A prominent study completed in 2010 revealed that the depth of our social interactions greatly impacts our sense of overall well-being. In my experience as an end-of-life care veterinarian, there is almost no social interaction that is deeper or more meaningful than walking someone through the loss of their beloved pet. There are so few instances in life where we get the opportunity to be with people in such an authentic and vulnerable way.

When we are deeply grieving, many of the emotional walls we keep up in order to function in our daily lives crumble. While this can be an incredibly scary feeling, it also opens us up to a depth of connection that we don’t normally experience. I’m so grateful to my clients for allowing me into their hearts and their homes during such a difficult time. When the death of a pet forces us to release our grip on the false reality that they’ll live forever, having authentic connections with other empathetic pet parents makes the inevitable heartbreak a little more bearable.

“One of my biggest joys is entering someone’s home as a stranger and leaving as a trusted friend.” -Dr. Mindy Brewster

Empathy

Doing this work has allowed me to explore the power of empathy. I’ve always been an empathetic person, but this career path has allowed me to tap into this quality even more. This has served me not only in my work but also in my personal life. Being in touch with one’s own past painful experiences of loss and being able to call on those feelings quickly in order to create a meaningful connection where clients can feel safe is essential in this work.

Clients always thank me for creating space for their grief and taking time to help them process their emotions, but the truth is they’re helping me do the same thing. We are doing it together as partners in those tender moments. Empathy leads to compassion, and compassion leads to action. By opening ourselves up to the power of empathy, we are able to connect with each other and take collective action towards healing.

Acceptance

A big part of processing grief is being able to get to acceptance. I’ve learned over the years that acceptance, normalization, and affirmation are so much more important than trying to fix whatever difficult emotion or situation comes up. As a caretaker, my reflex when I see someone in pain is to try and take that pain away. However, I’ve learned that that’s not actually helpful. Instead, simply being present and affirming the pain and difficult emotions that come with having to make end-of-life decisions are an avenue for connection and acceptance. Feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even shame often come up for people, myself included, in these situations.

It is absolutely an act of care to just sit with someone in these difficult feelings, knowing that we truly see each other’s pain in these tough moments. One of my biggest joys is entering someone’s home as a stranger and leaving as a trusted friend. In fact, there are several clients where, under different circumstances, I would actually love to be friends because we have the best clients in the world!

Healing

I’ve been able to share with some of my clients that I feel I waited too long to euthanize my first cat, Jack. I’ve carried a lot of guilt around this. For many years I held onto that pain. However, in my work of learning how to support my clients emotionally, I was able to shed most of those feelings due to the power of connection. I always tell my clients that it’s clear they have made decisions to the best of their abilities given the information they had at the time. I had not been able to turn that sentiment inward until my grieving clients helped me to see that I deserved the same consideration.

In supporting them, they’ve supported me. Together we’ve been able to come to a level of acceptance that allows us to release our pain. When we feel connected in our collective human frailties, we feel held, seen, and accepted. This is what allows us to release our shame and move through our grief in a healthy way.

The Human-Animal Bond

“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle; easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way.” – Irving Townsend

One of the aspects of my work that I cherish the most is that I have the honor of supporting and protecting the human-animal bond in such a special way. Our relationship with our pets is arguably one of the most profound in our lives. Anyone who’s ever had a pet will likely remember, with a level of unmatched clarity, the day that pet came into their lives. Similarly, the day that their beloved fur-baby left their physical body and crossed the rainbow bridge.

I am humbled that I get to do the work of creating a beautiful experience for pet parents. When they look back on that last day, they get to recall the peace, the love, and the gentleness with which their pet passed.

Gratitude for In-Home Care

The ability to provide compassionate in-home care where I’m able to get to know my clients and their pets in a relaxed and unhurried way is truly remarkable in the field of veterinary medicine. One of the joys of my work is getting to know peoples hearts. I love having them share special photos, memories, and personal stories about how their relationship with their pet has enhanced their lives. No other setting in the veterinary field provides enough time and space to connect on such a deep level.

The time that I get to take allows me to serve my clients in a way that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to. I can truly meet them where they are and give them the support they need. This is incredibly fulfilling for me. I love connecting and supporting people in such a meaningful way. I’m forever grateful to Caring Pathways, and to the clients who allow us to help, for giving me the opportunity to serve my community in this life-affirming capacity.

Helpful Links

• Learn more about in-home pet hospice care in Charlotte, NC.
• Learn more about in-home pet euthanasia in Charlotte, NC
• Contact us to schedule an appointment in the Greater Charlotte Metro area.
• Looking to join the Caring Pathways Family? Learn more and apply here.